Wow..poor guy..

Excellent. The last four lines are extremly well done.

I think I'll fav this one.

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Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow...

Thank you.

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very strong and touching, i loved the last few lines and i hope to see another poem very soon

i loved it, not sure what more to say. wonderful pic and i am going to it cuz i really enjoyed reading it!

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M.E.E.

Wow. That is brilliant!

Just the right amount of angst, not too much though. Is good!

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killers on the blood-shot streets; this is heaven on the edge of a knife

Lovely! This is the female character which is known by the main character, am I right? ^___>

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PUT YER GUNZ ON AND LET'S PARTY!

*shrugs* I didn't put much thought into who it was exactly. I just wrote from the point of view of someone still haunted by their former love.

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Ah, I can tell. Though I don't think I would describe it as "haunted" really. More of "remant" it seems to be more like.

To develop this so that it really fits the character's feelings you have to imagine the events, know the emotions building up which lead to the climax of the relationship. As well as "expierance" the falling...or even the sucess.

This is a good poem if you relate it to everyday people you see about you but, it's a glance at the surface. To really pull a reader into the story you have to dig deeper into the well of that pond. Don't take this as I am saying it's bad, it's just not what an editior (such as myself, ha ha!) would expect. Though, of course, this whole idea is still in planning. But it'd help to have the characters prearranged to perfection before plot-work is begun.

Did I make any sense? o____o

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PUT YER GUNZ ON AND LET'S PARTY!

o.O! i LOVE the pic! omg omg omg! its really really really wowness! its wow!
~mere

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~mere
Love to one, friendship to many, goodwill to all.


WE °jark!!